In a world flooded with carbon-copy dating sims, Date Everything! stands out as a chaotic, creative masterpiece that asks one simple question: what if everything in your home wanted to date you?
Set in a near future where AI has taken your job and emotional voids are realer than ever, you receive a mysterious device—the “Dateviators.” These magical glasses let you see the hidden personalities of the objects around you. From then on, your house becomes a romantic battlefield, full of drama, affection, and the occasional deeply philosophical conversation with your showerhead.
Each object is fully voice-acted, adding immersive layers to what could’ve easily been a silly gimmick. Instead, you’re treated to emotional arcs, rivalries, secret pasts, and yes—even heartbreak, all within the confines of your kitchen or bedroom. The game cleverly balances comedy with moments of raw vulnerability, making it a surprisingly sincere exploration of human emotion—through very inhuman means.
The variety in romance paths is staggering. You can commit to one object and unlock a multi-stage storyline, or date around to uncover more layers of this surreal ecosystem. There are even secret routes for players who make seemingly odd choices—like refusing to talk to your bed for five days straight, only to be approached by the dreams living inside it.
And if you're a completionist? Good luck. With 100 unique characters, you'll be discovering new content for weeks. Every object offers a new tone—flirty, tragic, philosophical, clingy, or downright psychotic. It’s the most personality-packed square footage you’ll ever live in.
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The indie gaming world hasn't seen anything quite like this. Date Everything! isn't just a parody—it’s a fresh take on connection, loneliness, and the weirdness of modern existence. If you’ve ever talked to your toaster and wished it would talk back... now’s your chance.
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